the one thing i always wanted

i watched the video update of Underoath....

yeah...I know....I need to see a doctor about it

i can't help it...i love those guys....

anyways...

it's amazing to see people fill up a club, rock venue, or field to see those guys. to see hands lifted up and clap on time....to see people jumping up and down....crowd surfing (i'm not that big of a fan of it) and the one thing that gets me everytime....

singing every word to every song.....

i want that so bad....to hear thousands of people singing lyics that I wrote or the band wrote. to know that I have influenced someone to pick up drum sticks and play.....to just start a band and be the "next big thing"

Underoath is that band that I wish I started....or just be a part of.

well....we'll see where I end up....

night

Things that God is looking down and laughing at

God Bless Brittney Spears and Kevin Federline (who didn't see that coming)

God Bless Political Commercials (it's just funny)

God Bless Faith Hill (and she said it was a joke...right)

and....

God Bless Pluto (scientist declared it "not" a planet....why can't we vote on it??)

For You

I heard a voice through the discord
A deluge of passersby
I saw one gaze frozen in time
Watching me passing by

I swear I'll know your face in the crowd
And I'll hear your voice so loud
When you're whispering

Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another

Here's my kiss to betray
Desperate to brush the lips of grace
Do you feel hollow when you think of how I lied?

Oh sweet angel of mercy
With your grace like the morning
Wrap your loving arms around me
Oh sweet angel of mercy
With your grace like the morning
Wrap your loving arms around me

Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger
Hey unloving
I will love you
And will love you

Jesus I'm ready to come home
I'm ready to come
Jesus I'm ready to come home
Unfaithful
Ungraceful
And unloving
I will love you

-Underoath

tonight was brought to my attention that this world is coming to an end.....

it's hard to look around and try to find hope in anything....hard to find peace w/ all this terror around us.

I wrote a song about a year ago called "what love is". What made me write it...(i think i blogged about this...so forgive the double blogging)...well, i was talking to my friend at work and we were talking about how computer (mostly laptops) are made just to be replaced by another one in 5 to 6 months.

Basically....they are meant to be thrown away.

and that's when it hit me...."is everything made to be thrown away?"

I want to believe that I am made for a reason.....something beyond my controll...but it's so difficult to believe that when I am told that the end is near. That our days are numbers.....make me sad...makes me upset...makes me scared.

but the bible tells me that I am to be comforted by these whispers of war....whispers of Jesus coming back.

Is it because I have lost friends that I could be reaching out to? Is it because I am living this life selfishly?

or is it because I know that He is coming back? because these are my final days....

but I should be happy that I will be taken to a better place. I place where I will be walking streets of GOLD! Where I will meet my heavenly father face to face. I will be able to pet a lion.....

I hope that I am pleasing God w/ everyting I do. I hope that my mustard seed faith is enough.....well, i know it is...cause He said that's all I need to move a mountain...."faith like a child" like a song once said

but all you have to do is walk outside and hear the world crying....or you can just turn it on to CNN or FOX NEWS or some major news station and see it...

seems that we are just worried about ourselves. that we want to surround ourselves w/ things that will drive the world away. like a big house, a fast car....kinda funny that all of that can be taken away so fast and easily.

i don't know.....maybe this is my just thinking after midnight...but...honestly...

what are you living for? yourself?

or are you maybe making a difference in other people lives?

don't waste this life....this one life that you have to live....go make someones day.....go make someone feel loved....give a homeless person some change.....give some a hug and a kiss on the cheek....help build a house for someone in need.....call someone.....give some one thanks or even praise....

but don't do this so one day it all can be done to you.....we sometime take love or friendliness as a game of tug-o-war. You don't do something for someone for the hope of getting something equally back. You do it out of the act of love....kindness....your reward is something much greater.

i'm sorry...i'll stop...just one more thing....

"Go make a life......not a living...." - Jason Mraz

happy (late) halloween

well, everything's going well

holidays are coming...and you know what that means.....it's going to get crazy at best buy. we are talking about at the most 55 hours a week. that's cool w/ me cause of the good ole overtime! but sucks...cause i can't go home for christmas or thanksgiving. I'm going to miss my family this winter!

So, some buddies and me were having lunch about a couple of months ago, and "relationships" was brought up. We started talking about what we see in the opposite sex. Things were said from hair, eyes, lips, body.....and such and such. and then me and my other buddy (not using names) were at best buy and we were checking out...and to make this a short story....i was taking out my debit card out and then he took out his debit card and threw my card down on his just to be funny...and he said "i bet i have more money than you!".....and then i said "that's cool...at least i have a girlfriend". and sometime down the convo i said that money doesn't matter...and he was like..."yeah it does"

and i thought to myself....."does money really matter that much to a girl?"

in my head i was telling myself that it doesn't...but in this kinda city (franklin, TN) that matters alot to girls. even to guys. (more of a competition for the guys) Is it cause most of these parents pamper their daughters? no...i don't think so. i just think that some stay in that pampered mode and never get out of it. so they look for a guy who can do the same as their "daddy" did for them. kinda sucks.

don't get me wronge....there are girls that dads did that for them cause they love their little girl, but the girl grows up. and she understand that this world is not going to just give them everything in a silver platter. they just don't relay on their "good looks" to get by in this world. shame really.

and why does it seems that it's a competition between the guys? like...we have to have something better than the other dude...better car....cell phone.....cool little toys....tv....stereo systems....even the clothes we wear. sad isn't it. i'm glad that it's not like that w/ my close buds. we might joke around w/ it...but never really trying to bring anyone down.

what happened to the guys trying to open the doors for a girl? or even pulling out a chair for them when they sit down?

what happened when for a girl, all that mattered was how the guy made them feel? like they are amazing or, now a days, sending a text telling them that they miss them or are thinking about them? or flowers?

i really don't have a standard when it comes to a girl. well, i take that back....i do have some.

to me...a girl needs to have a sense a humor. an up-beat personality. out going.

i mean...there are things that catch my eyes....like...blue eyes...long hair....blonde....and just incase you are reading this....and you meet all these things......call me!!! lol

but, honestly, all that matters to me....if she loves me for who i am....not for what i'll become. cause i know that i am not going to change who i am....but i also know that i might not have a million dollars...or have fancy things...or even a big house....but....

i do know how to love someone

and that's what i am going to do

i'll give 150%

so.....that was my rant....i'm done

and i am going to the gym now. going to tone up a bit...and going to lose this gut that i have.

can't wait to go home for my buddies wedding. I'm the best man....and i have to give a speech...haven't wrote it yet....and i have to throw a party too!! i need to start planning stuff

anyways....later folks

PS
i met the singer of paramore last night...she's a cuttie