You know that feeling of how no matter how hard you try, no matter how nice you are, or even how much of yourself you give; you always have that feeling of being alone. Everyone has left this town. Making it a ghost town for me. I have this house to myself now. I have friends at work, but everyone there just loves to drink and get drunk. That is something I can't do. I won't! They all go to bars and get wasted, and I am here in this empty house. I do have friend here though, but it feels like I have to go to their level to even speak to them. Maybe it's my own fault for anyways trying to please every one of them. but I am here for a reason. Maybe I am suppose to be alone. I just want to be home. I just want to feel wanted. To feel like I matter to someone. I didn't get into Belmont. My fall grades at Texas A&M weren't good. I knew that whenever I applied. But I still had to try. I didn't have that feeling that I could get in for nothing. There has to be a reason for it. I know there is. I told myself once that if I didn't get in I would go back home. But why would I do that? I am not up here for school. I am up here to play. To see if I have the faith to trust God. I do though. I do trust Him. I do have faith in Him. He's all I have whenever I am here alone. He's my father. My best friend. My all. I just want to feel wanted sometimes.....like I matter to someone.......
Well, I asked for about 40 hours a week....and that is what I got! Today is my only day off this week!, and I will be enjoying it too. Next week I'll have 39 hours....with 2 days off! Now that will be fun. SONG UPDATE!!!! Oh my goodness.....you guys do not know how good it feels to have one of your own songs played with a full band. (well, maybe Jon, SusieandTodd) But the band I have been playing with, Slow to Speak; I gave them my song that I wrote titled "Untitled secret" (ooooooo....nice title). The music is amazing! The way the lyrics are sung.....oh my gosh! I even sing in the song! Can't wait to have a rough recording so you guys can just listen to it. One of the guys, Jesse, goes to Belmont and is majoring in Music Busi./Music Production and he has a bunch of equipment at his house and he told me that he just ordered some drum mics!!!!!! WOOT!!!! (that was for Josh H.) Look out for that! And a new song that I started too. But here is the new arrangement to the song too.... "Untitled secret"yellow part is what I sing Seems like I get trapped every time, I think of you I hate this place but I love this feeling Can't seem to make up my mind, on what to do I'll stay asleep to keep on living, in my dreams *Chorus - This sound of silence breaks the window This flash of light cast a shadow (that won't let go) Arms Open, Eyes closed Ready to Fly, Take me home Arms Open, Eyes closed Ready to Fly, Take me home It could be different at the other end of the line But who will know if we both stay silent Standing out in the cold just to see, if I'm still breathing Watching the sun set and seeing the moon rise I'll just stand awe of You *Chorus * Bridge - These words won't come out...(repeat 6x's) *Chorus* Man, do I love music! I was kinda sick for about 3 days, but I am all good now, baby! I only get sick once a year and that was it for me. It was the cold. So, tonight for only $5, I am going to see Kids in the Way and Staple! and a week from today....UNDEROATH!!!!!!! Man, you guys don't know how excited I am about this. (well, maybe Todd) I can't wait to sing along to every song. I heard they are doing some songs from their new cd that they are working!!! AHHHH!!! Can't wait!!!!! I get to go home for the holidays! Best Buy rules say that we can't ask off for any vacation time during the holidays, but does Edwin listen. NOPE! I want to see family and friends, dang it! So, Lufkin, HERE I COME! Belmont cashed my check :S That means they are looking at my app. Nothing in the mail, but something has to happen soon....so....keep me in your prayers. I got everyone in my family a gift. And they all are going to love it too. Mikey is going to laugh, Jonny is going to be amazed, James is going to yell "Yay!!!!", Mom is going to cry cause she is laughing so hard, mama is going to feel comfortable, Troy is going to have stuff to chew on, Tiger is going to play harder, and Cookie might get something...if he is nice! lol My wish list: I miss my PSP :( iPod I miss my Cross Ring :( alot of band t-shirt (the used, underoath, dizmas, demon hunter...every band I love! Hey...i really need it! :D ) My "what I really need" wish list: Bed New battery for the car New tires for the car double bass pedal 18" AAX plosion crash cymbal cases for my drums Braces Well, I guess that is it for today. Don't have my cam for the concert tonight or for Underoath. (thanks to forrest, you punk! lol ) I'll post about tonight! Peace! <><
Marvin Gaye's - "What's Going On?" Performed by All-Star Tribute
(P Diddy:) What's Going On (Jermaine Dupri:) Tell Me (P Diddy:) People Dying People Crying Lord help us (Bono:) Mother, mother There's too many of you crying (Gwen Stefani:) Oh, brother, brother, brother There's far too many of you dying (Jermaine Dupri:) That's Right (Aaron Lewis:) You know we've got to find a way To bring some lovin' here today (Nona Gaye:) Oh my father, father We don't need to escalate (Backstreet Boys:) You see war is not the answer (Nona Gaye/Backstreet Boys:) For only love can conquer hate (Christina Aguilera:) You know we've got to find a way To bring some lovin' here today (Britney Spears:) Barricades, can't block our way (J-Lo:) Don't punish me with brutality (Destiny's Child:) Talk to me So you can see (Destiny's Child/Britney Spears:)(First chorus) Oh what's going on What's going on Yeah what's going on Ahh what's going on (Ja Rule:) What's going on in a world filled with pain Where's the love for which we pray What's going on When our children can't play Homeless can't eat There's got to be a better way What's going on When we politically blind Can't see the signs of endangered times What's going on (Nelly Furtado:) Ah tell me What's going on in the world today I'd rather be dead Than turn my head away We gotta first world vision to complete, to lift our Hands in the air and cry for a switch (Michael Stipe:) Father, father (P Diddy:) Father help us, come on (Michael Stipe:) Everybody thinks we're wrong (Alicia Keys:) Oh, but who are they to judge us Together we can all be strong (P Diddy:) United we stand, United we fall (N'Sync:) Oh you know we've got to find a way (Mary J. Blige:) To bring some understanding here today (N'Sync:) Barricades can't block our way (Darren Hayes (Savage Garden):) Don't punish me with brutality (N'Sync:) Baby talk to me So you can see (Second chorus) Yeah, what's going on Hey, what's going on Somebody tell me what's going on I'll tell you what's goin' on-uh (Nelly:) What's going on 'cross seas Every minute a child dies by this disease In record numbers indeed Got momma's crying out please My baby hold on My child ain't done nothing wrong Still I want to holler Ask them why they don't bother Oh no, oh no Make me turn to my father And ask him why they all got a trapped soul (Nas:) I can feel what was bothering Marvin Why his words forever remain Dealing with these modern day problems 'Cause of ignorance surrounding me and my constituents Too many infectedToo many lives diminishing Nobody say Protestants, Jews, Blacks, and Whites, Latinos and Asians Pray togetherLess fight We better unite As genocide chemical war And the rich and the poor Know that God delivers a cure (Eve:) It's a shame our reality is devastating People praying for a cure Dying while they're waiting Ask the Lord for the comfort and strength to face it All the kids with dreams Won't get the chance to chase it Makes me sad Think about the lives they would've had Think about the orphan babies got no moms and dads How can we sit back and not try to make it right We gotta come together We gotta fight for life (Fred Durst:) Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on) We got human beings using humans for a bomb But everyone wanna live Don't nobody really want to die You feeling me right I can't be watching people die (die) And watching people cry Let me break it down for a minute If there's enough room here for you and me There's plenty of room for some humanity Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on) Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on) Somebody tell me what's going on (what's going on) <><
