The letter I hate to write
You know that feeling of how no matter how hard you try, no matter how nice you are, or even how much of yourself you give; you always have that feeling of being alone.
Everyone has left this town. Making it a ghost town for me. I have this house to myself now. I have friends at work, but everyone there just loves to drink and get drunk. That is something I can't do. I won't! They all go to bars and get wasted, and I am here in this empty house. I do have friend here though, but it feels like I have to go to their level to even speak to them. Maybe it's my own fault for anyways trying to please every one of them.
but I am here for a reason. Maybe I am suppose to be alone. I just want to be home. I just want to feel wanted. To feel like I matter to someone.
I didn't get into Belmont. My fall grades at Texas A&M weren't good. I knew that whenever I applied. But I still had to try. I didn't have that feeling that I could get in for nothing. There has to be a reason for it. I know there is. I told myself once that if I didn't get in I would go back home. But why would I do that? I am not up here for school. I am up here to play. To see if I have the faith to trust God. I do though. I do trust Him. I do have faith in Him. He's all I have whenever I am here alone. He's my father. My best friend. My all.
I just want to feel wanted sometimes.....like I matter to someone.......
posted by Edwin at 11:30 PM
3 Comments:
Hey Edwin, I just want you to know that I will be praying for you. And I admire your faith! Things are rough right now. But God has a plan. And when doubts come, ask God to take your unbelief. Just be completely honest with him. And know that you are not really alone. And don't let Satan keep you down with those thoughts. Because if you don't get rid of them ( let God take care of them) Satan can weaken you; Get you to the point that you are willing to compromise so that the feelings of loneliness would end. That's exactly where he wants you. But be strong in the Lord. He will bless you for your faithfulness. (Psalm 126:5-6)
I miss you Edwin and I hope to see you soon!! Take care, Friend!
( sorry it's so long) :o)
Hey bro, you got it right on the spot...you are there for a reason and dont give up, im coming soon and we can hangout definitely. do you need a roomate? because if you do, I havent officially turned in my papers for the nashboro village appartments. but i do have quite a bit of furniture, 2 couches and a bed and some other stuff. just holla at me if you need a roomate. if not, bro your doin good on your own it seems and just read this scripture in the bible. Jeremiah 29:11 take it easy man see ya soon.
-Ross
When you feel alone, just remember that you ARE desired, you ARE loved. And it's not a fleeting, conditional love, it's the eternal love of God: Your creator, your father, and your friend. And, hey...you matter to me! love ya bro!
-Brittany
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