"Less is More"

fell in love w/ that song all over again tonight. i've been on a relient k marathon. can't stop. my opinion. matt t. is the best lyricist to date. hands down.

too bad that song has nothing to do w/ what i want to talk about. maybe it does. who knows.

so i've come to the realization that i haven't been living the way i need to be. like. not the whole i've turned my back on God. or "taking the wrong road"

but. more of the whole "keeping things behind closed doors" kinda thing.

just the words that came out of my mouth. my thoughts. my actions. my way of living.

friday night i hung out w/ some people that i never met. and/or. haven't seen in a while. and honestly. i felt out of place. and what hurt the most. i shouldn't have. like. everything they were talking about. i couldn't add to it. cause. honestly. i didn't have anything. and it made me sick. to where my stomach felt tight. i don't know if they could of read my face. but. i was sad. cause i use to love conversation like that.

and now. it's like i had to kinda not be the person i have become here lately around them. being 2 different people.

i heard once that people adapt to their surroundings. that the people you hang around w/ will influence you. way is it that the bad always seems to out way the good? like. why can't we see the good instead of the bad? the beauty instead of the beast? the smiles instead of the insults? the truth instead of the lies?

i want to be more positive the negative. i want to be able to influence someone by my good actions. by not complaining. by not talking about someone. by. loving. caring. up-lifting.

by. just. being. like. christ. simple as that.

so. my door is open. i promise to be myself. around you. like i would be around my pastor. my mom. my lil brother. my future son/daughter.

i promise to be more uplifting. to find the good in everything and everyone

and i also promise that i'll have stories to share @ the dinner table next time we all get together.

and just incase you don't look up the song. @ least read it. maybe you'll get something out of it. maybe you won't

"Jesus, I pray
Take all my mistakes
Throw them away
Destroy them for my sake

Jesus, I call out 'cause I'm sorry
Because I fall so short of your glory
To the best of my ability
I'm practicing humility
And I lay myself before
'Cause less is more

~~~~~~~

Jesus, I plead
Please purify me
Make my heart clean
Drench me with your mercy
Jesus, I pray
I love you, I need you
For the rest of my days
I swear I will seek you
To the best of my ability
I'm practicing humility
And I lay myself before
'Cause less is more."