The Hard Times

So what can I say....

One of those nights again.

And I don't like it at all..

Not one bit.



Whenever it feels like everything is fine...something feels like pulling me down.

I just backspaced everything that has been going wrong..and I thought to myself. "Why would people want to read this post?"

Why did I want to show you all those things? I don't want to seem like I am weak or make it look like I want sympathy.

But I don't want to talk to my mom cause I don't want her to worry about me.
I don't want to tell my friends cause I don't want them to think I am weak.

I just wish that everything would go as planned.

I wish sooo many things...3 wishes wouldn't be enough.

I miss everything

My family
My friends
The friends that I've lost
Miss the Corps of Cadets
Miss the AC Jazz Band
Miss Shannon
Miss my dad


I miss my comfort zone.

I've been talking to my cousin, Juju, alot. (Ever since the trip to New York my senior year for the winter break) I love that man. And he's been going through alot. (Pray for him) It took me a while to tell him what I was going to say. But he already knew what I was going to say. He knew that I was going to say that I've been selfish for trying to make him my father figure.

But he told me something that just makes me sad...

He told me that I am the best. That out of everyone in the family...I am one of a kind. That I have such a big heart. And for a guy to go through so much..for a guy to lose so much...I still give so much.

So.....

that's it...

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