If I could dim the lights in the morn...and create a moon....i would

I am sitting outside in the cold on my back porch. My fingers are getting numb.

But I was just looking up at the night sky, it's been a while since I have done this. just sit out here and just be amazed by all the silence. You can barely hear the city move. Like everyone fell asleep. You just look around and all you see are lights. It's a full moon too. It's so bright.

Today was a emotional day. yeah i know..fun. it's not that I am depressed or going crazy...it's just that things are different. To tell you the truth, it's been different since day one up here. I remember sleeping on the floor the first couple of months. Ran out of gas on the interstate. Had pop tarts for about a week. and oatmeals. Went negative on my bank account once.

But I'm still here. I am still breathing. I'm still have my health, my job, my car....and I have my drum set. It's the reason why I am up here. I've recorded w/ people I've never met. I just made friends and they tell people about me, and then I get asked to record.

I'm amazed. and greatful. and blessed. Cause I've been taken care of. I'm being used for a much better cause then I ever imagined. I could be at Texas A&M, but that is not where God wants me. I could be at AC, the the Fire Academy, but God said no, I have something much bigger for you. But you have to trust me. have faith.

I heard once "You can't see the wind, but you can see the effects of the wind." I might not know where God is taking me, but I know that He is working in my life. My talents aren't my own. I was born a sinner, but God saw a better perons. A better son. Do I trust Him and have faith in Him? yeah, but ask me if I have patience.

I think God is really teaching me that. I have alwaysed wanted things my way. I remember going through high school telling myself that I wanted to get married right after high school. Funny, isn't it. When it's on Gods timing...that moment is going to be so amazing! I think that is going to be the greatest day in my life...well, second. When I stand before God and hear Him say "well done, my good and faithful servant" That will be the greatest day. Knowing that I layed myself and my dreams at His feet, and said "God, I am yours. my dreams. my life. My everything...is Yours" I know that He will take care of me.

It's starting to get really cold out here now. and the battery is dieing on this laptop. So, I am done for tonight. Take care!

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